from the diary of Nina Hailey #2

To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangryangry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromanticromantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad

sad

sad

sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited To think and to love and to be angry and lonely and sad and romantic and excited

From The Diary Of Nina Hailey #1

• Notes

  From a series of diary entries by Nina called Earth To Nina.

  RJ

Sometimes my mind gets stuck.

As soon as you ask me for something, it feels like I’ve filled up two canteen-style ketchup bottles with glue and I’ve stuck them in both ears and I’m squeezing it around my brain.

Some of it comes pouring right back out, it drips from my earlobes and down my shirt. The rest rushes right in. Making gaps where there were no gaps, filling every new crevice and crease.

I loosen my fists and let the air rush back into the bottles with a smacking sucking sound. For a moment, as the glue in my brain settles, it’s almost…nice. Like there’s no chance of ever finding a clear train of thought anyway so the option may as well be taken away from me.

And then I clench my fists again and the last of the glue rushes in, mixing intrusion with panic. Paralysis with speed. It overflows out of my nose and eyes and I know I’ll never see or breathe properly again.

And you’re just standing there like a dumb bear saying, “Hello? Hello? Earth to Nina.”

Maybe I’ll just nod this time.

Maybe I’ll play a high-risk game and reply with, “Yes, of course.”

But the truth is I didn’t hear you. The people in my head that run my ears are doing their jobs just fine. And I’m pretty sure my brain at the other end of the line works ok, it’s the little guys with blue overalls that run the line in between the ear canal and the central cortex that didn’t turn up to work today. Or maybe they did and they’re just horrible people. It often feels less like there’s a gap between my glue-covered ears and brain and more like a group of mean, doubting, belittling figures.

They don’t transmit the words, they just roll their eyes at me.

And you’ll say, “What do you mean Yes? Are you even listening to me? I asked you if you-“

Glue.

Men in blue overalls.

Paralysis.

Panic.

blNK NOTE 2,

Bored in the queue at HEB. This morning I bumped into Sam for the first time since, you know. So awkward. He’s married and acting all old even though I know he goes home to play d&d.

He mentioned us all heading down to New Orleans again. Him, Dina and Croswell. Guess what good old Nina said? She said YES of course even though she meant NO and she said YES NEXT WEEKEND IS FINE even though NEXT WEEKEND IS DEFINITELY NOT FINE.

It’s, what, an eight hour drive? Which means three hours of awkwardly answering questions about Japan, three hours of Dina getting irritated at Sam for driving too fast and two hours of singing along to show tunes.

Where is my wind-back-time-button. I wouldn’t ask for much, just back to the moment before I agreed to going with them rather than faking my own death right there in the post office.

Why can’t you still be here. All I ever wanted to do was be with you. You were like a hundred people in one.

shopping liat

Shopping List:

• Icing Sugar

• Butter (Barlow’s)

Tape

Dish soap

1. Notebook
   2.

• • Prescription

helloiamalex

• Notes

  This is a very old experiment, but I've never been able to truly let it go.

  A council house, a lonely kid, and a little side room used as a home office. The computer is hardly used but is always on.

  Alex has never used a computer before - he's never even touched the keys of a keyboard.

  There's more detail in the chaos of helloiamalex than appears at first sight. He learns what the shift key does, he learns about space, tab and the little options the word processor gives him.

  If I ever write this story properly, the keyboard mashing will slowly give way to more and more insight into Alex's sadness and pain, and perhaps an unforgettable story will emerge.

  RJ

helloiamalex

hellohellohelllll

—====3336782034762385726035873640587263495827346958237465923847569234857693248756932845763948756203948672-34985720394867-234867230946872304968723049682374098234705938475923850790975093840273\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\        vn,cxmvn,xmcv   bbb

hello i am typing on a computer hello hello i am alex

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhasdASASASASSSSSSSSSSSSBOOB HAHa1@£$%^()(      

//|”:~!@£$%^&*()_+}{}{}

abcdefg

hello i am alex i am typing on a keyboard in my house

i am 17

i am 80

you dont know your a machine

>>>>><<<><<><><><><><><><>//////

i live at 4 camberside crescent

my brother is shaun g

score

alex 87

shaun95

23days togo

type type type. sometimes it knows what I want to say

what just happed?

I like this it easier than  handwriting nobody can read my handwriting not even me lol

hello hello

your still here

nobody usea this computer whats the point

wefwefwegweg3

4t23t23t24t24t223232334t 34g34g4qgaerergaergaer£$Q$GQ£$H£$

HQ£$HQ£$HQ£$HQ£$HQ£$HTVSS%YV£%YWB$

%YE%^UR^MT&*OMTINE^UWB$%BW$%YB$%Y$%Y%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

alex 103

shaunnn 112

19 days

19 days

19days

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllllllllllllllllll11111111111iiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllllllll////////////////////

hello computer your screen is bright nobody turns you off i would but i dont know how

///

-=

haha all of this is still on the screen

terrys a dick

terrysadick

terrysadick

terrysaduck

terrysaduck

terysadick

terry sick duck

score

alex 160

shau n182

    12dayshello computer i am alex g i live

i work at SGP roofing in falton

what did you do today coputer lol

ken told me today i should learn how to use the computer i said i had one at home

i think this was dads

today is Wednesday haha i wrote Wednesday and it changes it to Wednesday

Wednesday 8th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 34 days]

theirs a button that puts the date in now it looks like a diary lol who am i simon tellen from seventh grade

put my feelings in and shit

.

9 days to go11

how do you do the 1 its on the button 111111 why cant i press it 1111

score

me 225

ssss 237

Friday 17th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 25 days]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

i found out how hold down the arrow button just like when you do the ?

just came back from the game. dan couldnt make it i dont think his girlfriend hannH IS VERY WELL. SHAME I HAVENT SEEN HIM IN AGES. Lair came and brought peanut who doesnt play but hes living in lairs car at the moment so he played. Stagger won but only by a king. i had a straight too. Willis and trace had a good game but willis spend the night teaching peanut not to shout snap everytime he had the same number as card in the flop.

Trace wore the bracelet

!

Friday 24th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 18 days]

this computer is always on the screen is always on and nobody comes in here. i dont knoe what time it is i broke my watch this week its been a long week we did the roof of the church hall in Poller down near pizza hut.

i think theirs a button like the date one. 23:47:54PM

23:47:56PM

23:47:56PM

23:47:56PM

23:47:57PM

23:47:57PM

23:47:58PM

23:47:58PM

23:47:58PM

23:47:59PM

23:47:59PM

23:48:00PM

23:48:00PM

23:48:00PM

23:48:01PM

23:48:01PM

23:48:02PM

lol

Sunday 26th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 16 days]

sundays are like saturdays only the shops open late and mum isn’t around as much. terry is here all the time he works a lot in the week at the lesure center on warren street near the place with the board games in the window.  mum hasn’t worked since dad

Monday 27th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 15 days]

I didn't finish writing before what I was going to say was since

i love Trace greenwood

Jessica Lyerson

Wednesday 8th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 34 days] Wednesday 8th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 34 days] Wednesday 8th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 34 days] Wednesday 8th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 34 days] Wednesday 8th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 34 days] Wednesday 8th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 34 days] Wednesday 8th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 34 days] Wednesday 8th March 2006 [To use this feature please unlock the full version of Textmate.exe here for only $4.99 // your free trial will expire in 34 days]